Making the Predator Season One

So listen to this...

I'm at the usual cafe (Panera I see you!) minding my own business in the back when I hear overtly loud giggling. I look up and see a young man in a suit with Justin Guarini-esque curls leaning up against a window on the phone with someone. He's asking for a ride from the train station across the street and keeps looking to his left at the booth next to him. The giggling would get louder and louder as he said "I need a ride." He sits down and I hear voices coming from the booth (I can't see who is sitting there but I know they are females). All I can see is the young man, but I can hear everyone involved in this sad little conversation. The young man tugs at his trenchcoat admiring its supposedly fine stitching. "So you're looking for a ride?" the one girl asks. Giggling ensues. The young man replies, "Um yeah, I'm only in New York for the day." Giggling ensues. "What do you do for fun?" the other girl asks. "I don't do anything for fun," the young man replies.

"What were you doing in New York?"

"I was interviewing for a job..."

"What kind of a job?"

"Accountant."

"Like at Chase Bank?"

"No at Citi."

"What city?"

"I go to Penn State."

"Where in the state?"

"Penn State."

"I know the state of Pennsylvania, but where do you go to school?"

Giggling ensues.

I learn that the young man is 21 and into tapdancing. He has an uncle from New Jersey and he enjoys poetry. These girls in the booth have no idea what any of that means.

The conversation continues...

Girl #1: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Young Man: A brother. He's a tap dancer too.

Giggling Ensues.

Girl #2: Does he have curly hair like yours?

Giggling Ensues.

Young Man: Not really (whatever that means)

So at this point I am wondering why either of them are entertaining this conversation. I get up to throw out invisible trash because I have to see the other half of this conversation. Lo and behold the two girls are probably about 13 (and since everyone looks older these days that means they are 11) hunched over in bubblegoose coats with fur lined hoods and Sidekick LXs messaging each other back and forth.

The young man gets up to leave. "Where are you going?" the one infant asks. "Gotta leave" he says with a creepy smile. Minutes later the one girl gets up and walks out, leaving her friend alone until a replacement friend shows up a half hour later. As for the first girl, well, the curly man was standing around outside until the girl walked out and they pretty much left together.

Girl, you'll be a woman soon.

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How to Get Ahead

Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size

Hahahaha

Happy 30th Birthday, Aaliyah

:( Will always love Love LOVE Aaliyah Haughton.

Whitney, Put Your Face Away

I subscribe to Pop culture. Not only do I subscribe, but I run the Pop culture subscription department. So when you subscribe to Pop culture, you're actually emailing me. Anyway, The Hills is one of my shows. I watch it religiously. I don't watch The City like that because Whitney is just too much for me. Whitney, your face is becoming a problem.

At any given moment, Whitney Port will be catching flies on camera. Her agape expression is frozen in time. And I'm over it. Now look, LC makes the same face. I'm aware of that:



But look at how much happier Lauren Conrad looks when she's in shock. Whitney looks sad and dumb...like, all day. Look at Whitney in the above photo too - sad and dumb, sad and dumb.

I'm not saying anyone on The Hills is a Mensa scholar. I'm not even certain that anyone on that show can actually read. Since it's "scripted reality", that might not include the use of cue cards. I have no idea. All I know is Whitney's face should be stored away with Crocs and Ed Hardy clothing. The end.