Domo arigato, Miss Roboto

Dear Ri-bot from the Ri-mix Galaxy,

What...the...f**k? Ri Ri, I am so sick and tired of liking your music. Now look, that first series of songs about ponning replays and robbing "Tainted Love" samples were not in my book of favorites. Then you became a good girl gone fembot and all of a sudden I am all over your life. I do not approve of your new clothing style, though. Not that it isn't fresh, but it looks very familiar doesn't it? I still have no idea why I like "Umbrella", "Please Don't Stop the Music", this new one "U Make Me Sick" (because deep down you really do) and omg "Disturbia"...why is "Disturbia" my ringtone? Why when you sing "it's like the darkness is the light" I consider that some chapter from the book of Nietzche and not some terrible movie starring your ex boytoy Shia LeBoop? Why when you walked out on stage to perform last night at the American Music Awards with a blinged out patch over your eye, I held your one eye with more reverence than Slick Rick? Why when you beat my pretend girlfriend Alicia Keys in awards, I silently cheered for you? Why when you took my pretend boyfriend Chris Brown from me Jolie-Aniston style, I was cool with it? Who do you think you are? I can't wait to meet you and when I do I will unplug you like the robot that you are like that episode of The Jetsons when they accidentally unplugged Rosie and she couldn't vacuum their pod. I don't even know if that was a real episode but let's pretend that it is, because I'm unplugging you Ri-tard. I hate you I hate you I hate you. Eep opp ork ah ah. That means I love you.